- Speaking Tips
- Posts
- 5 Habits to Build Unshakable Confidence - Training Course
5 Habits to Build Unshakable Confidence - Training Course
5 Habits to Build Unshakable Confidence
Tomorrow (April 12th) is my birthday!
I remember growing up, my birthday was not a very happy day for me.
I’d be alone, didn’t have enough friends to throw a party and most people wouldn’t even know.
After years and years of working on my social skills and self-confidence, my life has completely changed from what it once was .
So in honour of it being my birthday, I’d like to share with you 5 habits that changed my life and transformed my confidence.
I recorded a micro-course for you here:
Feel free to leave a comment on the video with your thoughts.
Or if you prefer to read a summarized version:
1.Inner Dialogue
We've all experienced it—the voice in the back of our head telling us we're not good enough. It's a common tale of struggle that many share, but few know how to overcome. The journey begins with recognizing the power of self-talk. Imagine if all the negative things you told yourself were written on paper. Would you say those things to a child you cared about? Of course not. Learning to talk to yourself with the same encouragement and kindness you'd offer a child is the first step toward silencing the critic within.
The science backs this up: positive self-talk can significantly impact our stress levels and overall well-being. Techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) echo this by teaching individuals to challenge and reframe their negative thoughts.
2. Evidence
Confidence is directly tied to competence. To believe in your ability to succeed, you need evidence of your capabilities. This might mean stepping out of your comfort zone to gather that proof. For example, public speaking is a common fear, but it's also a skill that can be developed through practice and exposure. By joining a Toastmasters club or seeking opportunities to speak in public, you build a "bank of evidence" that you are improving, directly boosting your confidence.
Research on skill acquisition supports this habit. As you master new skills, your self-efficacy—a belief in your ability to succeed—naturally increases, reinforcing your confidence.
3. Uncertainty
Uncertainty is a significant source of anxiety and can undermine our confidence. By preparing thoroughly for whatever challenges you face, you reduce the unknowns and, by extension, the anxiety associated with them. Whether it's rehearsing for a presentation or planning for a job interview, preparation is key. When you know your material well and have anticipated questions or challenges, you reduce uncertainty and increase confidence.
This aligns with the psychological concept of perceived control. Studies have shown that when individuals feel they have control over a situation, their stress levels decrease, and their confidence increases.
4. Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome—the feeling that you don't belong or aren't as capable as others believe—is a common barrier to confidence. One powerful way to combat this is by externalizing negative thoughts. By writing down these thoughts and recognizing them as an external entity (like "Bob" trying to sabotage you), you can begin to see them for what they are: unfounded fears, not realities.
The effectiveness of this approach is mirrored in techniques used in therapy, such as externalization in narrative therapy, which encourages individuals to see their problems as separate from their identity, allowing them to address these issues more objectively.
5. Faith
Finally, the power of faith and visualization cannot be overstated. By setting goals that seem just out of reach and maintaining faith in your ability to achieve them, you stretch your capabilities and redefine what's possible. Visualization isn't just about dreaming big—it's about creating a mental image of achieving your goals, which primes your brain to recognize and pursue opportunities that align with these ambitions.
Athletes commonly use visualization techniques to improve performance, and research in sports psychology has documented its effectiveness in enhancing confidence and performance outcomes.
P.S Want to join my online public speaking classes?
My private public speaking membership (The Speaking Academy Pro)is currently full.
I’m aiming to open enrolment between June 1st for a select number of people.
As a subscriber to this newsletter, you’ll be one of the first to know.